


Sexual Discourse

by GobsmackApplejack



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Explicit Language, F/M, First Time With Each Other, Sex Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-24 18:09:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6162088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GobsmackApplejack/pseuds/GobsmackApplejack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lardo wants to give Shitty a blow job but Shitty has to turn it into A Thing.  Seriously, what’s a girl gotta do to suck some dick up in this Haus?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sexual Discourse

**Author's Note:**

> A discussion about sex. And... *spoiler*... a blowjob.  
> Jessica Haas is an OC, fictional feminist blogger.  
> Check, Please! and its characters belong to Ngozi Ukazu.

At the end of their first date Shitty doesn’t want to come up to the Haus.  He says he has to get back to school because his mom is visiting early the next day and if anyone at the Haus sees him he’ll be trapped there for a good four hours.  Actually, what he says is “No way I’m steppin’ foot in there tonight, brah.  They see me and it’ll be be four fucking hours of interrogation.  No.”

They park up the block and make out in the car for a bit so it’s still a good time.  They’re both leaning over the gear shift so it’s pretty much above the neck action.  I mean, she gets in some feels, like, she’s never gonna get tired of his abs, _god_.  Shitty cups her jaw and cradles the back of her head as he's kissing her and it’s all very sweet.  She gets used to the tickle of his facial hair on her lips and face and neck and she sighs at the realization that this is actually happening when she had been scared it never would.

He comes out the next Friday and they go to see an art installation at a warehouse in Norwood.  Again, afterwards, he doesn’t want to come into the Haus - which is weird.  No way he has early plans for Saturday again.  In fact, it wouldn’t be ridiculous for him to crash there so they could spend the next day together too.  It’s ridiculous that he wouldn’t!  He parks up the block and they make out again. This time she immediately climbs over the gearshift and straddles his lap.  After making a weird strangled noise, he clamps his hands on her thighs, holding her hips a polite distance away from his junk.  Whatever.  They kiss and she arches into him which makes their chests rub together and, yeah, that’s nice.  He doesn’t brush his knuckles against her cheek or run his fingers through the short hair at the nape of her neck like he did last time because he won’t let go of her legs.  Like he’s afraid of a little dry humping.  Huh.  Lardo never would have pegged Shitty for a ‘third date’ type of guy.

She gets herself off that night imagining the feeling of his ‘stache all over her body.

The third time he parks up the block she gets a little pissed.  Like, is he not interested in getting any further than second base with her?

“Dude, let’s go inside.” she tells him adamantly.

He gives her a look.  He sighs - sighs! - and pulls his keys out of the ignition.  They go inside and she waits through Shitty chatting it up with his former teammates until they finally make it up to her room an hour and a half later.

After a while it feels like the old Shitty is back.  They kiss and tease and clothes start coming off; shirts, then pants.  He admires her bra and she notices his 'stache is looking particularly well groomed and it’s easy, just like it's always been.  But you know, with kissing and a tiny bit more nakedness on her part.

She’s licking and mouthing her way down his body, spending time on his nipples, his abs.  Shivers race down her spine to some amazing places as he runs his fingers through her hair.  She’s tonguing his belly button (fuck, she’s imagined doing that ever since the first time she’d seen him in nothing but boxer briefs) then starts to dip lower.  She nuzzles into the crotch of his underwear, feeling the warmth there and licking at the hard bulge of his cock through the material.  He moans and just as she’s about to pull down on his waistband, she feels his hands gripping her upper arms.

“Whoa whoa whoa.”  Shitty pulls her up so they’re face to face again.  It drags her body along the length of his though, and he curses, “Fucking hell.”  His erection is pressed low on her stomach when she’s settled over him.  “Fuuuuck.  I mean-.  Fuck.  You don’t have to.  Do that.  Don’t.  Do that.”  His breathing is rough as he looks at her.

“Why, dude?”  Her tone is incredulous.  Really, she’s baffled.  No guy has ever stopped her before.  (Not that there were a ton.  Just three.)

“No.  It’s.  Fuck.  I don’t want to be one of those guys.”

“What guys?”

“One of those fuckin’ guys who wants a girl to do that, because.  Because she’s not ready for sex but he is.”  His hands release her arms and move to rest on her back.

“Psh.  This isn’t that.  Not...not the way you think.”

“See?  I don’t want to do that to you bro.”

“You’re not doing anything.   _I’m_ doing something.  That I want to do, dumbass.”

"Okay, but you're not doing it to make me like you more, right?"

She hopes her look is scathing.  "Dude, are you fuckin' kidding?"

"What?  A lot of girls don't like it, but do it anyway for a lot of fucked up reasons."

"Yeah, um, no.  I like it."

Shitty looks at her, considering.

“Okay, but, lemme go down on you first, brah.”  He starts to move her off to the side, like he’s going to change places with her.

She flails and puts her hand on his chest, stopping him.  “Uh, no.  No no.  Not doing that.  This is, like, way too early for that.

“What?”

“That’s like, way down the line.  I’m not talking, years, but just.  Not yet.”  She almost shudders.

“That’s fucking crazy.  You can go down on me but I can’t go down on you?”

“What?  It... makes sense.”  At his puzzled expression she takes a deep breath and sighs.  “Having sex is... it's intimate.  You’re naked.  Dude. To people who don’t spend half their lives naked,” she gives him a pointed look, “that’s a big deal. You’re letting someone see you, touch you- You’re letting someone into your body, in a way that’s really-”  She shakes her head, unable to find the words to encompass everything that first time sex is.  “- making yourself vulnerable.  So having someone’s face... down there is… uh, scary?  Intimidating?  You have to really trust them.  Not that I don’t trust you, with my life, man.  But that’s a whole 'nother level of comfort around a person.”

“Okaay.”  He draws out the word and the look on Shitty’s face is contemplative.

“But having a guy’s dick in your mouth?  Easy.  And I happen to enjoy it.”  She grins up at him.

Shitty looks conflicted.  “But sex should be about fuckin' _mutual_ satisfaction.”

She smiles.  “You think I don’t get anything out of a blow job?"

"Not really, man.  Not- wait. Is this a trick question?"

"Heh, no.  And, okay, it's not the same.  But it's... satisfying for me in a different, like, non-orgasmic way."

He gives her a skeptical raise of one brow.

"Look.  Making a guy lose his shit; it's... powerful.  I wanna see you come.  I wanna know what that looks like, and I want to be the one that does it to you."  

“Now see, bro, I want to do it for you too.”  His hand comes up and his knuckles brush her cheek.

“Okay, but, not that way.  No tonight at least.”

By now she’s slipped off to the side and she’s tucked up under Shitty’s arm, her hand drawing lazy circles on his chest.

"We could just, you know.  Hand jobs."  His hand waves around in _not_ the usual ‘hand job’ motion and she smiles.  She starts to nod but stops herself.

"But, the thing is.  The thing is.  That's just a lot of pressure.  You thinking you have to make me come.  It would mess with my head.  Make things... more difficult.”

“Dude, you nervous?  We don’t have to do any-”

“No!  Don't twist my words.  I _wanna_ do things.  Some things I’m ready for and some I’m not.  Or not sure yet.  I won’t know until we get there.”

Shitty nods.  He smooths her hair away from her face and tucks some strands behind her ear.

"Okay, but, even if you’re cool - we’re cool - with you giving me head, you don’t think blowjobs are another way for men to make women feel, like, degraded?”

She side eyes him.  “Not unless that’s what you feel!”

"No way, man!  But some women say that.  Jessica Haas said that having a woman do that, putting her in that position, is ultimately objectifying and degrading her.”

“Okay, first, I’d like to see the context for that.  But second… Shitty, you can go on and on about patriarchy and objectification and subjugation, but at the end of the day, what gets me off is what gets me off.  I can try and deny it because I don’t think it’s ‘feminist’ or try to change my likes and dislikes to seem more... _progressive_ or some shit, but why?  I don’t _feel_ degraded.  That’s not what _you_ intend, right?  As long as it’s legal and not hurting anyone, why can’t I enjoy it?  I’m not shouting it from Founder’s and making other women feel bad if they don’t.  It’s just my personal thing.  So you don’t get to tell me that my liking it is hurting women.  That’s bullshit.”

“Man, I would _never_ say that.  And I- I just want you to know how much I respect you.  I never want to do something that you don’t fucking like or make you do something that would fucking make you feel bad.  If it would disrespect you in _any_ way, I don’t want that.”

God, she loves this dude.  She pushes herself up and maneuvers until they’re face to face and plants a soft kiss on his mouth.  He cups the nape of her neck, tilts his head and deepens the kiss. His tongue is just stroking her bottom lip when she pulls back.

"Oh, but since we're on the topic, if I gave you a blow job, I might find it disrespectful if you were unwilling to kiss me after."

"Huh.  Noted.  Will you kiss me after I go down on you?"

Her nose wrinkles as she takes a second to think about it.  “Dude, fair point.  Let's table that for now."  They both grin at each other and chuckle and he pulls her in for another kiss.  She hops back on top of him and grasps his hands in hers, pressing them into the mattress by his head.  He’s gone soft over the course of their discussion, but now her butt is perched right over his dick and she can feel him getting hard again.  She wiggles her hips and he moans.  They kiss some more and it gets heated pretty quickly so she pauses to check one more thing.

“You okay with this?  Because I don’t want to pressure _you_ into something you don’t want to do either.”

“Yeah.  I think I’m okay, brah.”  His flat look tells her he’s more than okay.

“Then are we done, dude?  ‘Cause I would really, really like to suck you off now.”

Shitty lets out a shuddery breath.  He nods.  “Yeah.”  His voice is low and throaty.  “Fuck yeah.”

She flashes him an excited smile and moves her body down until she’s nestled between his legs.  She strokes the insides of his thighs and feathers her fingers up under the hem of his boxer briefs.  She nuzzles into his cock again and this time he moans and cants his hips into her touch.  Hooking her fingertips into the waistband of his briefs, she pauses for a second, waiting for a reaction.  He looks down at her, the most serious she’s seen him since he asked her out, (“On a proper date, brah.  You and me.”) and nods.

She pulls his underwear down, stretching it over his erection so it doesn’t catch, and she takes a minute to admire.

She’s seen his dick, plenty of times, okay?  But never hard.  Never hard for _her._  It’s so gorgeous.  If she didn’t mind anyone else seeing it like this, she’d make a sculpture of it.  In fact, maybe she will.

“I want you to fuck my throat, okay?  I wanna feel it on my tonsils.”

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ woman.  Why are you doing this to me?!”

“Because you said I could?”  She flutters her eyelashes at him, feigning innocence.

When she’s sure his gaze is locked on her, she takes his cock into her mouth and sinks all the way down, looking up at him through her lashes. She feels his entire body stiffen and arch up, then he shudders and sinks back into the bed after a few seconds.  She runs her hands up his stomach and chest, down his sides, around to his ass - feeling it clench, touching her fill.   What she’s imagined doing for so long.  Christ, _so_ long.

She takes her time, slowly bobbing up and down on his dick, using her tongue along the underside with flat strokes and licks, moaning with the feel of its heavy weight in her mouth, with the pleasure of what it’s doing to her to be doing this.  And the sounds he makes and the things he says are desperate and reverent all at once.

He has a way of circling his hips so it’s not jamming his cock down her throat (not that she’d mind) but still working in and out of her mouth and making his abs flex and tighten in the most beautiful way.  She brings her hand down to cup and stroke his balls, but finds herself reaching for his hand that’s just brushed fingertips against her cheek.  They interlace their fingers, his right hand in her left.  They don’t let go, even when it’s awkward and she almost loses her balance or he touches her hair again, so it’s basically her touching her own hair.  He alternates between pushing his head back into the pillow and holding it up to look down at her, his eyes shining and wide.  She knows Shitty’s looks and that, right there, that’s disbelief and... and something else.  She wonders if he sees the same in her eyes.

The way he runs his fingers through her hair, _so_ gently, makes her heart ache in her chest.  And the way he looks at her almost makes her want to cry.  She’s seen that look before.  All the time.  All. The. Fucking. Time.  Why didn’t she know then?  Why did it take them so long to get here?

She sucks until he’s whimpering and she can feel his dick jump and jerk in her mouth, then she stops and licks his balls until he’s back to making low moans.  Then she does it all over again and again, edging him closer and closer to his climax.

When he comes she watches his face and marvels at the way his eyes flutter shut, eyebrows drawn together, his mouth a tremble of spit slick pink lips, shouting out the most profanities she’s ever heard from him at one time.  There’s sweat shining and beading at his temples and on his chest.

She holds his pulsing cock in her mouth, collecting his come on her tongue, whatever doesn’t slide down her throat or her chin, until its throbbing slows enough that she can swallow around its softening thickness.  When she pulls off, Shitty’s lying there, eyes blinking, face an awed visage of… youth?

She’s seen him after killer workouts on the ice and in the weight room, after tough wins and losses.  She knows what Shitty looks like when he’s exhausted, when he has no more physical or mental strength left to give.  This is almost like that, but... different.  This is Shitty wrung out physically, mentally and... emotionally laid bare.

His look, it’s so raw and _young._ She’s never thought of Shitty as young before, but there it is.  She wants to gather him to her chest and cuddle him forever.  His hand in hers squeezes - she can feel it shaking and doesn't know if it's because of him or her.

She licks her lips and crawls back up so she’s tucked up under his arm again.  He brings both arms around her and pulls her closer.  The ache in her chest which never went away seems to have moved up to her throat.  When she tries to swallow it, it comes out in a quiet gasp.  Blinking makes her aware of the wetness in her eyes and she quickly swipes at them.  She focuses on evening out her breathing, willing her rabbiting heartbeat to slow down, her trembling hands to still.  Shitty squeezes her tightly - it feels like she's melting into him - and she's never felt so warm, so happy.

He takes and releases a giant breath.  “You fuckin’ broke me, bro.”  The bed shifts as he leans down to kiss the top of her head.  She nods in reply, afraid that if she speaks, he’ll hear the tears in her voice.

Clearing her throat, her voice is thankfully normal when she says, “Dude, I hope not.”

 

_/ _/ _/

 

They totally have sex too.  And she lets Shitty go down on her, and it’s amazing.  He makes her come three times between that night and the next morning.  What Lardo didn’t realize when she was giving Shitty her whole speech is that she was remembering what it was like to have sex with her past boyfriends.  How she felt and what she felt comfortable doing and at what time and in what order with _them._ But because Shitty has been her best friend for three years, because they _know_ each other better than anyone else ever, and because she loves him and knows he loves her, she is totally ready.  She’s ready for everything.  Because it’s Shitty.

 

_/ _/ _/

 

_later_

“Okay, but if you want to talk about social implications and sex, let’s talk about what kind of message I’m sending by dating a white guy.”

“Wha-?”

 

_/ _/ _/

 

_later later_

“Oh, fuck.  Did you tell you parents about us?  They're gonna shit, huh?”

 

_/ _/ _/

 

_later later later in the bathroom_

“Oh, hey, Jack.  Just like old times, eh brah?  How’s the team?”

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: My first fic in the the Check, Please! fandom. I had a hard time with Shitty and Lardo speak so if you have suggestions, let me know. I'm also very unsure about my characterizations so if you have thoughts, I'm open to (gentle) constructive criticism.
> 
> I have this headcannon that Shitty would treat first time sex with Lardo with absolute reverence. I loosely incorporated the Lardo x Shitty sketches from Huddle 1 but since I don’t have Huddle 2 I don’t know what else is going on with them!
> 
> Since there are a lot of blow jobs happening in fanfiction, I’m kind of wondering if that translates into rl? What I've written as Lardo's thoughts are meant to be the experience of just one person (based on ... guess who?). Happy to hear if you feel differently.


End file.
